Mutant Power!

After watching one of the X-Men movies with my son, he asked what power I would like to have if I were a mutant. I don't think I've ever been asked a tougher question. Think about it...all the possibilities.

My guess is, most people immediately think of the two biggies in super powers: flying and invisibility. I think if you did a poll, those two would get the most votes. And why not? They are awesome powers. Traffic? No problem. Pull over, get out of the car and fly the hell home. Wanna know what's going on behind closed doors at the office? Go invisible, slip in and find out if you're the poor schmuck who is going to get his ass let go. After these two powers, I'm thinking super strenght is a close third. No brainer there. Of course, sometimes just hauling my ass out of bed in the morning requires superhuman strength.

Those are really obvious though. What about some of the other powers not so obvious? I'm not talking about reading minds (which would be really friggin' awesome for every situation in life), or being able to stretch like that guy in the Fantastic Four. I mean, come on. Do I need to spell that one out? What fanboy hasn't thought about having Reed Richards' ability to stretch his johnson to be about nine feet long, and have a 2-foot tongue? Come to think of it, what girl hasn't thought of that?

So, how about super speed, but only in your fingers? Imagine typing a book in mere seconds, tapping the drum solo from Inna Gadda Da Vida on your desk, or well, you know, and better than any store bought vibrator thing.

Another great one would be the ability to change your weight depending on where you are. For example, I'd want to be real skinny when flying, so I don't have to rub knees with the annoying prick seated next to me. And then be really fat when going to a Chinese buffet, just to watch everyone freak out and run up to the buffet before I get there.

I'm sure everyone can come up with a few like that. But this is my blog, so I'll keep going. How about the ability to see through the eyes of other people? You could watch yourself do stuff. I mean, who hasn't wondered what they look like to other people? I do all the time. Like you're walking down the street and you think you look all hot, and then you pop behind the eyes of the person coming toward you and you realize you look like a dork.

And then there's the ability to make people believe whatever you say. I'd be a damn millionaire. Would it be immoral? Probably, but no one ever told Hulk that pounding sidewalks into rubble is a decent thing to do. Imagine telling someone you have no head, and they believe you. Or walking into a bank and telling them that you have to take all the money because it needs to be washed. Hello Tahiti!

So, my son asked me what power I would like to have. I told him I'd like to have the power to keep him and his sister safe always, no matter where.

He wanted to be invisible.

Both would be cool.