Jumpin' Job Jive

So I got a new job. It was a good offer, seemed like a great firm, and the timing was right. I've done the job switch thing about a dozen times in my career, and while most of them were pretty smooth, sometimes the transition takes a little more time. For example, when no one acknowledges you exist for the first couple of weeks. Or there's sometimes that moment when you realize you may have gone from the frying pan into the fire. (Sorry for the use of the tired cliche. I hate cliches. They're just so, I don't know, cliche.) And then of course, there's always the chance that you will be completely lost and have no idea what the frigg you're supposed to be doing or how to do it.

Anyway, thankfully, none of those things happened at my new place. Everyone has been great and the job seems like it's going to be an interesting challenge. Cool.

A few good things about starting a new job:
- All of my old material is brand-spanking-new! Old jokes? New to these folks! Rocky impersonation? Totally new! My leg lamp from "A Christmas Story?" They love it! Goofy iTunes music collection? Complimented! The whole South Philly Italian shtick, works again! For a while, I totally rock as the new guy.

- You have the "I'm the new guy" excuse for a few weeks.

- You can scope out your own stall in the bathroom. For guys, this is the equivalent to a woman finding the right pair of slingbacks, on sale. That stall will be your daily companion, a place for rest and comfort, to find solace. A place to poop. And for most guys, bowel evacuation is next to Godliness.

- If it's a managerial position, you can establish some guidelines that suit you. Not to say what they have going on is bad, but here's the opportunity to make it your own. Shirtless Fridays, anyone?

- The first paycheck. If you've ever switched jobs without getting a salary increase, shame on you. (Unless, of course, the last job included a lot of unwanted sodomy and beatings about the head and shoulders with a blunt instrument.) So, you get that first paycheck and you see what your new salary amounts to, after taxes, healthcare, child support and other assorted deductions. But it's still nice.

- People are usually looking to be impressed with you out of the gate. So you try to impress them early on.

Okay, so a few not so good things about starting a new job:

- You may finally realize that all that material you've been using over and over actually sucks big time. The iTunes selection is lame. The leg lamp is cheesy. The South Philly Italian shtick fails to impress. Time to come up with new stuff, which I'm just too damn old to figure out.

- The "I'm the new guy" excuse gets old real fast.

- Someone else may have an affinity to your stall. And he could be someone with nasty hygiene.

- Your guidelines are just plain stupid. "Deodorant-free Thursdays" anyone?

- You may be surprised by your first paycheck. And not in a positive way.

- You may work with people who are not easily impressed.

- Oh yeah, and you've got to find new places to eat lunch, after getting used to the same places near your old office.

- There's always a learning curve. Some places more than others. Right now, besides learning the procedures and digging into the background of all the clients, I also have the added joy of figuring out a PC. I have never used a PC, being a Mac guy since I sat down at a computer. I mean, literally, I have never put a finger on a PC. Now I know why. Generally, PCs suck. After using the intuitive, user-friendly, elegant Mac for so many years, I can not even begin to fathom how anyone would rather use the cumbersome, ugly PC. But, I have to figure it out. Ugh.

Well, it's an adventure and I'm looking forward to it. In the long run, what I do has gotten me through. I'm a creative writer guy and I enjoy writing. So I'll write. Hell, it's saved my ass more than once.

Now, I just hope some guy with a love of eggs and Mexican food hasn't also claimed my stall.

See ya!